Yesterday I visited Redeemer - the new Zion church plant. It was a good experience for me to remember what it is like to be a stranger. And I needed to hear the message. I've been thinking about it this morning. Pastor Toby used an illustration involving G.K Chesterton. I guess a newspaper printed an article titled "What's Wrong with the World?" and Chesterton wrote the newspaper the following letter,
"Dear Sirs: I am.
I love it. I'm aware this morning of how easily I point to things outside of myself to explain what is wrong with the world. Pastor Toby talked about how we make lists, how different groups of Christians have different "lists" that they feel are the primary responsibilities of walking with God. He described how we use our lists to put ourselves in opposition to people who have different lists than we do. We feel that THEY have it all wrong. I'm deeply convicted of my list this morning, of how easily I justify a sense of superiority because my list is the right one. I do not feel that I am what is wrong with the world.
So this is my confession this morning. I'm fumbling through what it means to love Jesus. I'm tripped up so often by my own "righteousness." The truth is that my list is an elaborate cover up to hide my profound insecurities about what makes me a worthy person. Stripped of this list I find myself exposed, clinging to the shreds of manipulative self-discipline to prove that I deserve to hold my head up. Here I shudder. Here I give up. Here I need a Savior. Here I align myself with all that I understand to be wrong with the world, and I join the hands lifted for mercy.